The Magpie, 1668 Gérard de Lairesse (Dutch)
You can really get away with just about anything when you are cute. It’s a shame, but it is a timeless truth. Definitions of what is beautiful change with cultures and times. Cuteness, however, has been virtually universal since before human beings were even capable of naming it so. Look at the infant version of just about any species and you’ve got cuteness. Baby cats, dogs, monkeys, humans…all considered cute. There are a few caveats. Baby Kangaroos go through a pretty rough patch right at first, and I’ve never heard anyone refer to that “cute little maggot.” But, as a general rule, cute is in.
My buddies and me pretty much have the run of things. We’re Putti. Some people say Cherubs, but we all prefer the former. Painters both great and small have granted us eternal cuteness. I know we’re important because we are an integral part of REAL art. You know, white European stuff that came during the Renaissance. Everybody, and I mean everybody knows that we count. That Jesus in the pee might be a question for a lot of folks, but not us. Once again, we’re in.
When we’re not hanging with Nymphs, you might catch us peeping out of ocular window paintings on the ceilings of important buildings or having a drink with Big D. He keeps an amazing stash. Our sole mission in to look and be cute. You, however, have caught us at a rather unfortunate moment. We were just having a little fun with a magpie. Before you go on some bleeding heart, liberal, animal rights rant, allow me to assure you that this little birdie had it coming. The truth is that this little bird is vanity and immoderation in the fowl. We are actually doing him and you a favor by taking care of this ugliness before it gets out of hand.
My friends are a little more hand-on than I am. I wish I could be more like them. They are hilarious, and they always have the guts to follow through. When you go through life as adorable as we are, things pretty much go your way. As hard as I try, I haven’t worked up the courage to take part. I guess I am a little lily livered. At least that’s what they say about me. I think I’ve just got to get used to it. I’ll just keep my mouth shut and build up a tolerance. Then, in a few months or years I’ll be ready to participate.
You can really get away with just about anything when you are cute. It’s a shame, but it is a timeless truth. Definitions of what is beautiful change with cultures and times. Cuteness, however, has been virtually universal since before human beings were even capable of naming it so. Look at the infant version of just about any species and you’ve got cuteness. Baby cats, dogs, monkeys, humans…all considered cute. There are a few caveats. Baby Kangaroos go through a pretty rough patch right at first, and I’ve never heard anyone refer to that “cute little maggot.” But, as a general rule, cute is in.
My buddies and me pretty much have the run of things. We’re Putti. Some people say Cherubs, but we all prefer the former. Painters both great and small have granted us eternal cuteness. I know we’re important because we are an integral part of REAL art. You know, white European stuff that came during the Renaissance. Everybody, and I mean everybody knows that we count. That Jesus in the pee might be a question for a lot of folks, but not us. Once again, we’re in.
When we’re not hanging with Nymphs, you might catch us peeping out of ocular window paintings on the ceilings of important buildings or having a drink with Big D. He keeps an amazing stash. Our sole mission in to look and be cute. You, however, have caught us at a rather unfortunate moment. We were just having a little fun with a magpie. Before you go on some bleeding heart, liberal, animal rights rant, allow me to assure you that this little birdie had it coming. The truth is that this little bird is vanity and immoderation in the fowl. We are actually doing him and you a favor by taking care of this ugliness before it gets out of hand.
My friends are a little more hand-on than I am. I wish I could be more like them. They are hilarious, and they always have the guts to follow through. When you go through life as adorable as we are, things pretty much go your way. As hard as I try, I haven’t worked up the courage to take part. I guess I am a little lily livered. At least that’s what they say about me. I think I’ve just got to get used to it. I’ll just keep my mouth shut and build up a tolerance. Then, in a few months or years I’ll be ready to participate.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.